The Key That Unlocks Everything
/The Key That Unlocks Everything *
“ If I could give you one key, and only one key to a more abundant life, I would give you a sense of your own worth, an unshakable sense of your own dignity as one grounded in the source of the cosmic dance, as one who plays a unique part in the unfolding of the story of the world.” ~ Greta Cosby
"Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting -
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things." Mary Oliver—excerpt from Wild Geese
A common theme with so many people is they feel like they are not smart enough, good enough or worthy of what they want in life. I hear this over and over again and the hardest part is that my clients have carried this far too long, not knowing how to change it or worse yet, believing they can’t change it.
The beliefs we carry are learned behavior from the past experiences in our life. Many of those were learned when we were too young to know better and or had the immaturity to look at it differently. We automatically carry them into our adulthood and after a while the mind will look for all the ways it is true. But guess what, when you begin to believe you are enough, your mind will begin to look for all the ways that is true, as well.
We tend to think that the process of making deep seated changes requires a lot of work and takes a long time. At one time I thought that too, but the more work I did on myself and with others, I realized that we make it much harder than it needs to be. A key factor in making changes is the willingness to have an open heart and mind to look deep inside and make a decision to heal what needs healing so we can let the old beliefs go.
Inspired Action:
What are the beliefs that you carry that no longer serve you?
Which ones keep reoccurring in your mind?
What needs healing in order for you to let go?
What would you rather believe about yourself?
*I found the above words in my writing notes today and I love it so much. I am not the author of this. I didn’t have the name of the person who wrote this and I don’t know if it was a writing session I may have attended somewhere or where I got it. I tried to google it but could not find it. Please let me credit the author, if you might know who they are.
Now I will attempt to answer these questions—these are my words:
What are the beliefs that you carry that no longer serve you? I believe that I am not smart and a bit ignorant because I don’t know some of the basic events in history or politics. Like, get this one: Why was world war I started? and what were we fighting for? Ok, so I can hear you saying, well she is stupid! My dear husband Joe says I don’t know these things because they are not of interest to me and that I am very smart. He is sweet. I want to believe him. I know I am smart. Perhaps I am dumb and I am smart. It is these labels that are damaging. I could do away with those. Joe tells me the answers to all my “dumb” questions (whenever I ask) without one iota of disbelief. He knows the answers and so I rely on him. So where did I get this belief? I distinctly remember US History in my junior year in high school. I didn’t study for the test. I think I was preoccupied with my growing belly and frozen in a state of shock and fear. I couldn’t concentrate on the lessons and my studying was so painful I just gave up. Then I put the blame on the teacher and the subject matter. I thought this is all baloney. Who cares what happened in the past. The now is what is important. Why do I have to memorize all these boring facts and dates. I could not muster up any interest and I concluded that I hate history and so from then on, I was like a deer in the headlights when it came to history. I had no understanding so I wasn’t able to put the new information into any context. This was my belief that has lasted for 55 years.
Which ones keep recurring in your mind? Another one is that I can’t speak well. I think I am a good writer but a poor speaker. I often can’t find the right words. I think this is because of a lack of confidence in my opinions. Sometimes I think I don’t have a right to some of my opinions because I am not well learned or have not researched the subject thoroughly. Also, when emotions crop up, like anger I get numb and silent. I don’t like that about myself. Where did I get this belief? When I was a young and tender teen I harbored some major shame. I had a secret to protect and so I was quiet when I had things to say. I held my tongue so I wouldn’t be judged or thought of as stupid. I was self-conscious. I didn’t feel like I had the right to say my truth because I had messed up so much. What will people think of me if they knew my secret? This caused a lasting quiet. In case you haven’t heard, my secret was a teen pregnancy. We told everyone I had a kidney disease. The way it was dealt with: silence. Had a lasting effect on my belief system but there is no reason it must continue. The best time to plant a tree is forty years ago. The next best time is now. I am going to think about what I can do to heal this belief. Writing my book Sunlight on My Shadow healed some of it, but perhaps public speaking could be the skill that unlocks the flood gates.
What needs healing in order for you to let go? Greta Cosby in her words above spell out what needs healing. It is an overwhelming sense of acceptance for all of me as I am and a strong sense of my own worth. How to do that? Know that I am blessed with a unique brain and body and it is perfect in all its imperfections because I am alive and I am human.
What would you rather believe about yourself? I would rather believe that I can easily say my mind in a sweet and true manner in all circumstances when it is called for. I would rather believe that I can learn about history and I don’t hate it and that it would round out my understanding of the world. And I know I can always ask Joe to fill in the blanks.
