RAIN—an acronym to open to the hard stuff
/I am reading the book: Awakening Joy— an inspiring little gem.
I had read about RAIN and used it this morning when I found myself having some less than lofty thoughts. I fell into a very old and worn out tape that I apparently like to revisit: "no one likes me." I was sitting out on the porch to take in the sound of the ocean waves crashing on shore, to let the morning sunshine soak into my bones. I heard my family laughing as they sat inside at the kitchen counter. I couldn't understand why they didn't come out to the veranda. It was so gorgeous. They just don't like me or need me, I surmised. I could have gone on in a loop of self-destruction and remember another time when I was shunned or some downward spiral that went like this: they are perfectly content with themselves. They enjoy each other but don't need me,
But lo and behold: I caught myself. The R of RAIN. Recognize. Instantly, as I recognized this thought I was having, I saw the hurtful nature of it.
Then I used the A- of RAIN, allow. I Allowed myself to have this thought.
Then I used the I in RAIN. I Investigated. I felt the response to this junk thought in my body. So subtle, a dark swiss cheese like pain in my upper gut. This reconfirmed that thoughts can bring on physical responses.
Then, I thought this: I will never learn. I obviously have a memory from long ago when I was shunned, still living in my reptilian brain. I can't stop it from popping up. I remembered the N of RAIN. NON-Identification. Don't take it personally. I realized I wasn't broken. I was just having a reaction, a thought that could drift away as fast as it came. I then noticed the ocean waves were gentle today, the sun was sparkling off the water in a soft spray of diamonds under the morning sun.
Different Methods for Opening to the Hard Stuff
Excerpt from the book Awakening Joy in Chapter 4.
In bringing mindfulness to directly experience your actual feelings you’re learning to be with them just as they are. The key is to not get lost in the story of the situation. Whatever it is—sadness, anger, wanting or fear—go directly into feeling the bodily experience or energy of the emotion. The acronym RAIN (devised by meditation teacher, Michele McDonald) can help you remember the process of directly opening to and working skillfully with difficult emotions:
Recognize what you're feeling.(What am I actually feeling right now? Sadness? Anger? Fear?)
Allow it to be here.Let go of any agenda for it to change and,for a few moments, give it permission to be just as it is.
Investigate how it feels in your body on an energetic level without getting into the story or trying to get rid of it. (Bring a curiosity or interest that is simply exploring the landscape of the emotion without analyzing or trying to figure anything out.)
Non-identification (a fancy way of saying not taking it personally)—don't take ownership of the experience as being who you are. ("I'm such an angry person.") It is not unique to you. It is simply an energy that has come to visit you. It does not have to define who you are. Your experience of anger or sadness isn't so different from my anger or sadness. You are exploring the human condition.
Explore a little bit at a time. If it's too hard to mindfully stay with it for more than a few moments turn your attention to the breath or the body. Then perhaps go back to explore the suffering when you've gotten a bit more balance.
