Monkey Blood

Several years ago, I was sitting at the Jungle Café in Omaha Nebraska watching the zoo monkeys swing from the trees, chatter, and bounce from limb to limb.  What a delight to see their preoccupation with their immediate world—to watch them looking around their forest, obviously not caring what we thought of them as they peered at us humans through the glass walls. Then they snuggled up to each other, taking turns picking nits off faces and backs. Oh how I longed to be tended to and cared for in their obvious ways. I longed for their playful, alert awareness. 

As they swung and bounced from tree to tree, I admired their joyous movement. They seemed to have it all together in a be-here-now sense. I wondered if it was because their emotions flowed through them just as they did for me as a baby.  Maybe it was because they didn’t obsess, worry, or have regrets.  Maybe it was because they lived in a sea of authenticity.

Perhaps we humans got side tracked from our joyous nature when our frontal lobe enlarged and we became obsessed with worrying about the future and regretting the past. Not that I would want to go back to the cave man days or actually live in the trees; but I take inspiration from our animal friends—the monkey’s playfulness and spontaneity. I want more of that in my life.  

Emotions are the signals that connect the spirit to the physical body. I want to embark on a journey to more fully honor and embrace them. When I truly listen to my emotions instead of thinking, oh no… not this again and push it away, but truly take a moment to feel the pain or joy, then I will be more human and more authentic and these emotions will serve as a guide to my truth. I will be light-hearted and as Brenee Brown says, whole-hearted.

John Bradshaw, author and psychologist,  talks about emotions that get stuck in the body: “We may have had the experience of fright when an emotion like anger looms, unwarranted, or fear.  We feel out of control, like it will take over. It feels sometimes like we are riding the surf of insanity. When you get an experience like this it could be because of an event in the past that became stuck in your body. He says, “If a traumatic event happens to you when you are young and you are not able to talk about it, it gets frozen in you as a picture of the event.  So if anything similar occurs in the future you go back to that place and churn up the same old emotions and act as an adult child.”

Perhaps these jungle monkeys can teach us to tap into the unhindered part of us that integrates our emotions with our physical body. When we allow our true nature to shine, emotions spontaneously move through us allowing the good feelings and the painful feelings to flow in real time.  When emotions are repressed they become stuck in the body causing a quagmire because they keep trying to express themselves which makes one crazy, depressed, anxious, or dull. 

Maybe the key to feeling more joy is learning to process and feel all the emotions, including the dark emotions. In this way I will embrace my vulnerability, live as a whole, authentic person. I am willing to pay the price of truly feeling the pain in order to truly feel the joy. 

Life is a joy when you swing from the trees, eat bananas, and feel the jungle wind tickle your toes.  Give me some monkey blood!