A year ago, we had our home in Oak Grove, MN for sale. The house is tucked away on a gravel road twenty-five miles north of downtown Minneapolis. After thirteen years, we were empty nesters and ready to shrink our space. But what about the frogs who sing in the springtime, the calls of the sandhill cranes, the pair of trumpeter swans who have taken up residence on the creek, stark white, gracefully floating on the water? Yes, our home was serenely situated but this was exactly the problem. We were one hour from most of the things that we loved to do— visit my daughter Tessie for Sunday dinners, doctor and dentist appointments, and any events to include writers workshops, painting classes, and tennis. Was it worth the view? We now had our cabin upnorth to be in nature, perhaps a city connection would be a better balance to our life.

After Joe and I married in 2006, I sold my Uptown condo so we could live close to his kid’s schools. Nature fills me up so it was not a sacrifice to leave the city back then. I’d often dreamed of living in the country with someone I love. I was, however, a little worried about continuing with tennis, which was now an hour from home. I would not let our location be a deterrent. I didn’t mind driving since I had audio books and podcasts to pass the time while on the road. After many years, getting stuck in snowstorms and long commutes began to wear on my sensibilities. I often passed up an event because of the weather. I stopped playing tennis and picked up pickleball which was closer to home. We are proud to be Minnesotans as we endure harsh weather but when a one hour drive becomes three hours, it’s painful.

The nail was pounded in the coffin, one Saturday afternoon. I was going to a writing workshop downtown. Stop and go traffic on I-94 turned into an hour and a half on the road. It was my first visit to this writing session and I was sick that I’d have to walk in late. When I finally broke free of the gridlock, I drove around in circles trying to locate the address. It didn’t make sense. So, I blew it off, turned around, and drove home arriving three hours later, non-the-wiser. The whole evening was a dreadful waste of time. You can only listen to ‘so much’ My Antonia on Audible. Later I found out that I was looking for an address on Portland in Minneapolis when it should have been St. Paul.

Besides for the driving snafus, it was strikingly quiet and lonely returning home after being at the cabin, surrounded by friends and family. One day after Joe retired, we reached out and invited some neighbors over for coffee. But nothing ever came of that. Everyone seemed to have their own families and friends. If it wasn’t for the great Andover Y and the pickleball, I would not have survived as long as I did.

We decided to list the house in September of 2018. Fall came and went. Perhaps we were priced too high. We attended several open houses in the Twin Cities but often came home sad and depressed. The places we liked were way more expensive than what we could get for our house with a lot less space. The idea of taking on a big mortgage at this stage of life gave me stomach pains. So, January of 2019, we decided to take our house off the market and wait for spring. It felt great to be settled again. We spent the better part of the year, content and enjoying our Oak Grove home in the country.

But the unrest returned that August. Each time we came home from the cabin, we wondered how sensible it was to have the expense involved in maintaining a large home that we didn’t use very much. We decided to list the house and lower the price to be more competitive. It was easier to take the leap this time because we decided we would rent instead of buying. This way, we could decide what our next steps would be without having a big commitment or cash outlay. Perhaps eventually, we would want to buy something in Arizona or Florida to spend the winter months. Renting was a way to get our toes in the water, see if we liked city life, and learn more about what we really wanted.

Yippee skippee, we had two offers on our house in six weeks. Twenty-four hours later, thanks to our agent Mark O’Hern at Latitude Realty, we had a signed and accepted offer. Each day for a week, Joe would wake up and say, you know we could cancel. I just stared at him in exasperation. I know, it was a big deal, downright frightening. How were we going to fit our 3600 square foot home full of furniture into a 1000 square foot apartment? What do we keep? What do we get rid of? Where will we live? How do we find a place?

When I thought of giving away or selling my little green table with the silver painted leaves that sat under the mirror, I was sad. I couldn’t part with some treasures, that I’d accumulated after 50 years of home making. That hand painted vase from Mexico, the teapot Kristy gave me, the blue glass vase that Molly made, the dancing Ballerina from Kiona, the floral painting from Tessie. And what about my mom’s Lennox dishes and teacups? Our oak hutch was full of these precious dishes. My heart was breaking. Was I ready to give it all up?

I decided to start where my heart strings were untethered—the six tall file cabinets in the City Creek upstairs office. It was easy to toss papers. I had records accumulated since 1992. Each time in the past, when I moved, I just transported the whole kit and caboodle and did not bother sorting and cleaning them out. I know why I did that. Going through the papers one by one was super time consuming and ended up taking a full week of precious, pack-up-and-get-out time. In the end I had ten file boxes including original artwork for City Creek’s kids books, taxes from seven years past, sale of businesses, divorce papers, and other legal documents. I was grateful we had a month to tackle this sorting out process.

When we accepted the offer, we did not know where we were going to live. Our options were wide open. We were not so hot on downtown Minneapolis anymore because of the traffic difficulty getting in and out of town and it seemed there were more and more reports of crime. Also, the desirable places, along the river were super high rent districts. So we cast our eyes towards St. Paul, Uptown, St. Louis Park, and Edina. We started looking a week after the offer was accepted and must have toured twenty places. I remember one corner unit on Excelsior and Grand that had large windows facing the street. The living room view was taken up by a giant billboard “Injured? Call Josh Hampton (or some name) “ and there he was smiling at us, eager for misfortune. It also had a faint moldy smell.

The most gorgeous place was “The Lakes” in Uptown. Marble floors and massive windows framed the sparkling Lake Calhoun. Oops. That’s Bda Mka Ska, renamed recently since Calhoun was deemed a racist. The Lakes hosted a free brunch every Sunday for the residents. BMW’s and Mercedes emerged from the underground, heated garage. How could we find a way to afford it? Maybe if we got one bedroom and one bath. Maybe if we got the apartment that looked into the windows of the Calhoun Beach Club apartments instead of the lake. No, that didn’t seem like a wise choice.

Our search ended when we toured the top floor corner unit at 71 France in Edina. It was within our budget, and had our minimum requirements of two beds and two baths. The best part—southwest facing windows from floor to ceiling and located in the heart of retail heaven, if there is such a thing. We signed the lease. It was a great relief to have something to look forward to instead of that feeling of leaping into the unknown. Now we knew the space and measurements so we could decide what furniture would stay and what would go.

I got that app called Room Sketcher and took our most precious furniture and moved it around in the virtual rooms. One by one I figured out we couldn’t fit this or that. Joe wanted his rocker, his desk. We had four desks and could keep two. We had twelve chairs and could keep five. A big obstacle to our move was the couch in the basement. Three years previous, I had purchased a sectional so it could fit down our narrow stairwell. Even though the delivery boys tried it every which way, two of the sections were just too large. So we hired our former contractor to pop out the basement window and bring it in that way, one snowy January day. Now, how would we sell it and move it out?

So I had an idea. We would accept the offer but tag the couch on there for a bonus. They agreed. That was one giant step towards getting ‘er done.

Aaron and Molly were thrilled with our oak dining table, some chairs and tables, a rug and buckets of office supplies. Tessie was on the docket to get my mom’s dishes when I died so I asked her if she wanted them sooner than later. Yes! She said and also said yes to our bedroom set. Aaron got Joe’s desk and rocking chair and the big TV. I sold the rest on Facebook Marketplace which was easy and fast. The app presents your stuff to people in your area. We sold a queen bed, an oak hutch, an oak antique desk and cabinet, a leather daybed, and an oak dining table with six chairs and three leaves. The rest filled Joe’s truck . After too many loads to count, Joe was on a first name basis at Goodwill. What Goodwill would not take, Savers would.

We hired Good Stuff to do the moving. I was a bit leery about paying them by the hour because the last time I did that, the dude was dilly dallying on his cell phone. But these guys at Good Stuff were on it. They were very skilled at getting stuff around corners and padding it so it was not damaged in transport. Good Stuff also loaned us used boxes so we could pack up and return the boxes when they were unpacked.

We did it. We moved in and have all the boxes emptied. We put shelves in the two big walkin closets so have the printer and office stuff in one and our personal items in the other. I used a wooden book shelf to display my little treasures.

Now, guess what? It’s a short block or two to the grocery store, target, and the Y. The airport is ten minutes away. We are at Centennial Lakes with walking paths, lush greenery, ponds and fountains. We are a few minutes from Three Regions Bike Path with access to over nine miles of trails. Our apartment is light filled and efficient. It truly is a dream come true and was worth all the pain and effort to get here. It feels like the perfect balance—we have our upnorth cabin and the apartment in the city. So far so good. Is it all perfect? Almost.

We are next to a large grocery store. On the second night, our eyes popped open at 4am to the sound of the back-up beep-beep of night deliveries. Not to worry. We ordered a Techno-fan sound machine from Amazon Prime. The white noise works. For the most part, it is very quiet. We don’t hear our neighbors even though many have dogs. I only know this because I see them on the elevator when they take their parents for a walk.

It has been three months now, since we moved. Do we have any regrets? Well, you know when you are in the heat of getting rid of stuff and that is your objective, you might throw something you want later and of course, this happened to both Joe and I. I have thought maybe three of four times of something I could use that I had tossed. It’s impossible to be perfect in your decision making when you are in the mode of “getting rid of stuff.” Those pings of loss have now come and gone.

This Saturday morning in late January. I don’t ever want to move again. But I am sure that will change. No worries. We are renting. I like that.

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The Joys of Downsizing

Judy Liautaud