Wrestling with Food Cravings and How to Tame the Beast

This is what I wrote in my journal two years ago—
I wrote a post on facebook about being sugar and gluten free for two years and how after the first month, the cravings got so much better and now it is relatively easy to stick with the plan. A friend posted a question—how did I get through the first month? I thought long and hard about that and here is my answer: You get the desire to eat that thing you don’t want to eat and it is very confusing. The body is saying yes, yes, and the mind is fighting it with a no no and then you get this feeling of frustration and what’s the use and hating the turmoil inside your brain and body. So the natural thing to do is push that feeling away, ignore it and try to switch your thoughts. You think this is self control, will power, and how to be strong. But really this just makes the situation worse, because the ignoring or stuffing of the feelings is only a bandaid fix. And the inner debate wears on the soul. Stuffing the feeling makes it return with more force the next time, since feelings don't take kindly to being ignored, they are bringing a message and will be very persistent if not acknowledged in a way that lets them feeling move through the body as opposed to staying stuck. 

What you can do instead is the opposite of stuffing or ignoring the craving/feeling. You let yourself totally feel this desire. You tune in to find that place in your body that is tied to the craving. Where can you feel it? Sometimes it is a tightness in the throat, or a squeeze in the gut, or maybe even a nausea. It can be very subtle but the craving will have a feel-it-in-your-body partner/component. The craving starts with a thought. Perhaps triggered by an image, the visual of seeing donuts on a commercial, for instance. Cravings often have a desperate, have to have it now quality and if you can slow down and listen.... there might be a deeper message.

So instead of trying to “control” the craving,—embrace the feeling in its fullest, feel it down deep in all its entirety. Then focus on that place in your body that you feel it.  Then gaze around the room, let your eyes fall on something and then another, as you sit with the feeling. Focus on opening your heart to the pain of craving. Let yourself feel it. Sometimes this works like magic, it is like the craving has been heard and done its work and you might notice the craving lessens. Of course, it goes without being said, that this is only for emotional eating. This works when you want to eat but your stomach is not hungry. If it is truly hungry, then you will choose to eat something nutritious and your belly will be happy and your mind will too. Also, when the food is quality, it's much easier to keep from over-eating. 

You can also practice tonglen. You can breathe in the feeling of craving and connect with all the people who struggle with this very same thing and breathe out compassion, acceptance, love for yourself for feeling this and for being alive so you can feel it. You might find that if you do one or both of these things, the craving eases. It just wants to be heard, to be acknowledged and many times, I have found that the craving is tied to wanting something that is deeper than the donut. The craving is really for a desire to write or to paint or to create or to connect with someone or a desire for sleep or a way to escape something that is bothering you. I get so hungry when I am tired! The thing is that food is very visual so when you imagine it in your brain it is the easiest thing to tie to the answer to a craving. Your mind just grabs it.

Now the above is what I wrote in my journal two years ago. Today I don't think this was actually how I got through the first month of no sugar.  If I recall, the way I got through it was to hold a strong conviction that if I ate sugar I would get diabetes. I didn't want that. So I didn't even let myself debate the cravings. I just said, this is it. This feeling is something you have to live with and its not going to be satisfied-- so get over it and keep the path. I think it was a year or two that I didn't eat a bite of added sugar. Then somewhere along the line, I said just a bite of that cake is ok. and then it stretched to maybe it doesn't matter so much. This past summer was a big back slide.

Under the stress of cabin building and excessive shopping, I went off my strict no sugar plan and I have plumped up a bit. My blood sugar is above normal. I want to get back on track. My health depends on it. And my good health is a cherished commodity as I am pushing seventy. So these days I have invented a new trick. Her name is Little Belly. I have disembodied my sprouting round belly from my legs and arms and mind and made her into a little yoda who really knows what is best. When I respect and listen to Little Belly I know that she likes to have periods of rest. She gets so tired of digesting and digesting and when she is tired and here comes another blop down the chute, she kind of slows down and says, whats the use and the food just sits there. She can't physically keep up and sometimes it tries to flow back up, the belly is so full.

So Little Belly, I am going to not to do that anymore. I am going to listen to you. When I have a craving, I will ask what does Little Belly want? and I remember the times when I was eating less than usual, giving Little Belly long breaks and only eating one helping of healthy good food at meal-time and I remember that airy, spiritual feeling like a connectedness to nature and to others around me. It was like the veil of food coma was lifted and I was clear and wanted to do more things and enjoyed everything more and the bites of food were so delicious because Little Belly was hungry.

And, so I realize that this depression I have been burdened with is a case of eating too much. Of not listening to Little Belly. Yesterday I felt very tired and kind of awful at about 2 in the afternoon. I had missed about an hour of morning sleep cause I had a dental appointment. I wanted to eat ice-cream but instead I laid down for a nap. I woke a couple times and thought about a bowl of very buttery salty popcorn. (that doesn't have sugar) I could taste it, smell it, I wanted the salt! I had over-indulged with popcorn like this perhaps 3x in the last month. By the grace of Little Belly I went back asleep. When I woke again, I started out wanting it bad and then I asked Little Belly and she said, you know dinner would actually taste better and feel better. So I made sausage and peppers and onions and tomato sauce with pasta spirals and cooked some beets and roasted some broccolini and it tasted so good. I felt like I had dodged a bullet. I was so close to popping up from my nap and popping up a humongous bowl of corn kernels. I know Little Belly doesn't like that. She complains each time I do it. So thank you very much, Little Belly, for your wise counsel. I will continue to send love and attention to Little Belly and let you know how it all works out and if it is a fad or a lasting answer to get back to my clean healthy state.

Two weeks later: I'm not really doing that great. At about 3:00pm I get the most strong craving for popcorn or sweets and I get way too near the edge. Although I haven't made popcorn, two days ago I came home from a painful mammogram that shook me. I cooked up and ate eight gluten free Krustaez pancakes with lots of salted butter and real maple syrup. I stood at the counter and ate each one as it came off the griddle. To eliminate the muffin top, my Not Your Daughters Jeans need the next size up. So there you go. I have no answers. But one hopeful thought— I don't recall asking Little Belly what she thought before I ate the pancakes. Perhaps that was my first mistake.

I would love to know if you have any tricks. Write something in the comments section below. Thanks!!!